Friday, September 16, 2005

Klugman Vs. Shatner

Here is our objective evaluation of two major icons: Jack Klugman and William Shatner. Please feel free to take notes.


Starship captaincy:

Shatner: 79 episodes of Star Trek, plus seven movies
Klugman: "Death Ship" in The Twilight Zone

Winner: Shatner, but only by a technicality

Positive Image of Law Enforcement

Shatner: TJ Hooker, playing a cop

Klugman: Quincy, playing a medical examiner 20 years before CSI


Winner: Klugman

Twilight Zone appearances:

Shatner - 2 (Nick of Time, Nightmare at 20,000 Feet)


Klugman - 4 (A Passage For Trumpet, A Game of Pool, Death Ship, In Praise of Pip).

Winner - Klugman

Sidekick

Shatner - Leonard Nimoy, annoying dude

Klugman - Tony Randall, not-so-annoying dude

Winner - Klugman

Head covering

Shatner - bad toupee


Klugman - hat

Winner - Klugman

Smells like:

Shatner - "lamb sausage" (according to James Spader)
Klugman - steak and bourbon, with a slight hint of Aqua Velva

Winner - Klugman

So, for all of you Shatner fans, although we admire his work, let's face it - he's no Jack Klugman.

Now go deal. Seriously.

2 comments:

Roger Owen Green said...

And Jack STILL has more Emmys.

Gordon said...

Plus, Klugman is all-American.

Shatner's a Canadian.

You make the call